day:38 (july3)

long hiking reflective thoughts are the best.
ty justina.
althought you're 2 years younger than me but your thoughts are much wiser than mine.
failed.
My scars.
yes they are ugly, i wished i never did it,
i dont think anyone can really accept them,
cause not even i do.
Thankyou for being so honest to me
"yer arms are gross."
most people just usually ignore them
if they dont they'll ask me how i got them
& i'll say yes. i used to be a cutter.
no. im not proud, just facing the truth.
no more little excuses
"yea they're from work"
or
"oh this cat scratched me"
most people will just go oh haha, really? *walks off
you. my dear, asked.
"why?"
At first i didnt really know did answer, i said i did it cause i felt like it.
no. thts not it.
the truth is, i always thought if im able to hurt myself,
then no one could hurt me.
pain would be nth to me.
"thats just stupid, most of the times you were actually "hurt" arent physical injuries, & the "pain" yer afraid of ,arent from wounds. Theyre from disappoints, betrayals and regrets."
wow. thankyou.