rawr

Which princess are you?

Cinderella
One of your parents is dead.
You are expected to do a lot of chores.
You love to dress up.
You love animals.
You are waiting patiently for your Prince Charming.
Your mom is really strict.
You have sisters who seem kind of jealous of you.
You’re afraid to speak your mind sometimes.
You have left your shoes at a friend’s house before.
You have blonde hair.
Total: 4

Belle
You’ve kissed someone your friends didn’t like.
You’ve been lost in the forest.
You love to read.
You are not shy at all, and not afraid to speak your mind.
One of your family members is a bit weird.
You have done volunteer work.
You have a wild imagination.
You love to take care of people in need.
You’ve had guys like you only because they think you’re pretty.
You’ve rejected at least one person when they’ve asked you out.
Total: 5

Jasmine
Your dad is very rich/important.
You are very clever.
You’ve been with someone way different from you.
You’re unique and different from everyone else.
You’d never marry someone just because they were rich.
You have set a lot of goals for yourself.
You don’t have a lot of friends.
You’re independent.
You are wealthy.
Your parents try to control your life.
Total:1

Ariel
Your parents expect a lot from you.
You really try to follow the rules, but it’s hard for you.
You’re a bit of a trouble maker.
You’re the youngest in your family or in the last two.
You have a lot of sisters (three or more).
You collect something.
You have/had long hair.
You have/had a pet fish.
You’re extremely curious.
You believe everything people tell you/you’re a bit gullible.
Total: 7

Snow White
You know that you’re beautiful.
Sometimes it seems like your mom is jealous of you.
You’ve almost been killed.
You have at least seven good friends.
You’ve had food poisoning.
You have/had short hair.
You get along with almost everyone.
All of your friends are different.
You love to have a good time.
You’re happier when you’re out of the house than in.
Total: 1

Mulan
You can be a tomboy sometimes.
People wish you could be a bit more girly.
You’ve pretended to be someone you’re not.
You’ve had a physical fight with someone.
You have/had considered running away from home.
Your parents try to plan your life out.
A lot of your friends are boys.
You sometimes find yourself in bad situations.
You love your family so much that you’d do anything to protect them.
Total: 7

Aurora
You live/have lived with someone other than your parents.
You almost died at a very young age.
You are gentle, loving and/or thoughtful.
You have a decent singing voice.
You like to sleep in late on the weekends.
You spend most of your time outside, or try to do so.
You’re adopted.
You’re very romantic.
Pink is one of your favorite colors.
Total: 2

Pocahontas
You love to walk around and explore big cities.
You are more spiritual than religious.
You’ve been in an interracial relationship.
One of your family members is dead (mum, dad, sister, brother, grandma, grandpa).
Your parents are very protective of you.
Someone you know has been in war.
You love nature.
You have/had black hair.
You would love to move somewhere exotic and beautiful.
You’re very adventurous.
Total: 4

Weeeee im Ariel & Mulan:D

kay better study now
no more disney fact seeing on tumblr

:)

Yeobo ~

i just realized yer blog mostly consists of unhappy things :/

why is it always my fault

yup,

im pretty much
useless

its gna get better right?

""

" And right now there's a steel knife
In my windpipe
I can't breathe

Cause when it's going good
It's going great

But when it's bad
It's awful
I feel so ashamed
"

ihatetdy,

set your priorities straight,
as mean as this sounds
im highly disappointed.

@1:12am

Pinky Promised,

mo duc faan hau !

..

i really hate this feeling of helplessness,
like how can i not control my own body
i mean if i cant control someone else's body i understand completely
but its MINE.

ok so 2days ago
i was reading on my sister's bed and i fell asleep, when i heard my dad's voice asking me to go down and help him carrying groceries up i instantly got up and ran down. Since he had alot of frozen meat and stuff it was too heavy for me to carry them all at once so i went a few times. Between some of the trips i felt kinda dizzy and stuff so i just crouched down and rested a bit when i felt better i continued carry the bags.And i carried everything up and my dad was back from parking his baby. when we were done sorting everything he went up the stairs and then i just felt my body going "im gonna give up now" and i just fell, and i was out of breath. Like no matter how hard i inhaled and exhaled there just wasnt enough air. At first my dad thought i was jumping around and trip and hes like "ng ho wan lah, or you'll fall" and he looked down and saw me lying on the bottom of the stairs outside the kitchen. He ran down and put my head on his lap, and i continued to breath in and breath out really hard. Hes like "i told you not to 4 chaan, if yer not feeling well just rest" but before i fell i felt i could handle it, i wasnt feeling sick anymore. but i think its getting worse, my body just gives up on me now and it just falls without a warning. My dad kept talking to me and after a while he's like "lei feel ng fell doh the floor is wet a? im very gup liu ding ng suen lah" and i laughed but i was tearing up, like i could not help it at all i was crying, cause i know he was very scared. I could hear it in his voice, his kinda "saa-saa dey"voice. "mui mui lei dim ah? yau mo c? yau mo hum chung gor taau" Tha voice ive heard many times before mostly from before when i fainted and once was when he was crying outside grandpa's hospital room saying "i really do love my dad" to the social worker. Despite being scared, he tried to calm me down and made jokes.
out of all honestly, i feel really bad. Im always freaking everyone out.
I really do hate myself for being so weak, my body is weak. im weak.
thats why i really hate it when people say im weak. Its like when yer ugly, you really dont want people to point it out again. Cus yea i know im ugly but i cant do shit about it so stfu.
Seriously i swear one day they'll find something wrong with me and im gna be dead or smth.
Hopefully then i would stop freaking everyone and they wont have anymore heartattacks from me. heh.

mine,

so call me selfish,
cus i want to keep you all to myself


you are too good to me.

.

you might as well physically pull my heart out,

cus im sure that would hurt a lot less.

破相

越笑越見疤痕

10/10/10

HAPPY 100th BIRTHDAY my dearest cutest smartest grandpa <3

what if's.

wah,

just had the strangest dream.
wouldnt mind if it came true too
*V*

i want :

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

m u s t .lose.weight.

just one more weeek plsssss

tue- mt + quiz
im sooooo dead.
& im sooo broke.
must. save.money after vegas
October = no work = no pay = fuck.

" 'cus when you see me from everyone's eyes,
well, i wont be so charming anymore. "

supppoooort

"All you do is act a fool
You ain’t shit without your crew"

hmmm,

"Do you think I'm special, do you think I'm nice
Am I bright enough to shine in your spaces"
not special.
not nice.
not bright.
kthx.

babbbbies !

welcome to the familyy :3

ps, lo gong add oil at work tomorrow!~
yer gna do great !

hao ma fan,

*

someday,

hmm,

long night,
xg private

the doubting day

kjskjdfhlgsdhfgslkjdh

PLS LET MONDAY COME AND GO REALLL FAST
and let me do well
kthanks

awhhh - w -

i really gotta stop arguing with my fam,
my mom has been calling me from wrk everyday since july at 1o to wake me up for school
i love how she worries about me even when shes at wrk
my sis constantly asks/ reminds me if i paid my visa on time cause she can help me bey juu sin
my dad got me blueberries the minute after i said i wanted some, he even washed and froze them for me
i really have to give to this family as much as get from it.
but first! imma go study my head off !!

jail

im stuck with studying till monday
pls let me do well
*crossfinger
and pls let the time go by faster
*crossfinger
Kbai
back to studying i go

:)

in general, a very hebbi day.

ELEVEN HOURS ! !

DAY 3 !

GAU MANG
i wanna cry
im stuck on the last assigment
pls pls pls let me finish the assignment in time
i know i wont do very well on the final
so i can mess this one up
pls and thankyou
pls pls pls let me finish in time
*Crossfingers

; ^ ;

5 days

"cause you are MINE, noona"

homgggg cute-ness to the max
i love the adam couple !!
-------

on the other hand,,,
MY HEAD HURTS
just came back from watching inception
i really like it,
but have to really think
mind EFFF :b !
ohoh and mr..best buddy got me the LEGO ~!!!
but it was the wrong one... orz
i felt so bad asking for the receipt
cant build it now :(
have to wait...again :(

" are you the jealous type ? "

n....

"you have to be honest !"

oh...yes, yes i am. lol !

"yea i thought so, you look a lot like the jealous type"

thaaaannnks.. :/

ohmyyyy,,,,6 days!

< ONE WEEK
:D

im.so.hyped !

ohmygawd day T E N ~

WE GOT MARRIED ADAM COUPLE !

ok honestly, when i first watched them im like wthew, this isnt nickhun and victoria-si
they arent a cute couple
i dont like them.
but while i was waiting for nickhun and victoria's episode to come out
i watched them cause there were all 20ep if eng subs,
(i really shouldve studied orz)
watch ha watch ha, i actually like them more now
cause like beh said, they are more realistic while khuntoria is more taiwanese drama fairlytale.
i COMPLETELY understand Ga-in,
sometimes i feel her personality is somewhat like mine :X
thats why i relate more to this couple
weeeee weeee
lovvvvvve them :D
homg, even though their "honeymoon" was pretty bad
i still find it super cute how they went on a train tgt and had their lil trip
ahhhhhh, i love these, i love them.
offf to camp i go ~

day:11

faaai d faaai d lahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
i need smth to play with !!
mr.best buddy hurry up and buy me lego
pls and thankyou :)

Day: 14

nothing better,
nothing better,
than you.

♥♥♥

day 15 !!!!!♥

WE GOT MARRIED ♥
khuntoria ♥
ohmygawwwd.
thanks to them, i wanna get married NAO.
i swear ill learn from victoria :$
nickhun.can you get any C U T E R :$ ♥

HING GOR FOR SEE A !

whytheeff do you still drive yer mom's car when yer like 5o+
tiu lo lei gah?
"why do you have to park next to my car?"
gum eff ging a buy the whole parking lot ah
dont mumble to yerself and "Geez" me
just cause im polite doesnt mean im scared of you okay?
if i was scared of you i wont walk out when i saw you outside looking at my car.
(lol ok fine i was a lil scared when i walked up to him the first time, but the 2nd time i was okay lah *U*)
annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd
i told you i can exchange insurance info with you
if its suuuuuuuuuuuuuuch a big deal
why say no huh?
"do you know who my mother is?"
uhm no.
"you dont?"
no.
"oh, geeez"
uhm, am i suppose to know?
*walks back into his house
uhm,,are you going to get yer mother so she can baby you and yell at me?
chi sin.
thanks for ruining my day loser.

pheeeew much better.

day : 18

i wish im a little girl again,

sigh,
sharon sham
why you always have to get yer dad upset :/

day:

please don't let us be.....
drifting,
further & further apart.

day:23

okie, so on friday i was being a productive child and looked at my courses and requirements for classes i need to take and narrowed some classes to take for fall semester. Then i read cmpt chp9 then did lab 8 and its due next friday horhor im so faai saau this time :D. Then i went to check my lab7 and assignment3 marks. I got kinda worried because ppl kept texting me and saying what i did for assignment 3 and that they were stuck. Although i spent the whole night doing it, i didnt think it was THAT hard. maybe cause i thought i did a really really crappy job of it, but the for my a3 i got 14/15 *V* i was soooo hebbbbi. Then vvn told me that she went to the zara at metro and there was still a HUGE sale so i really wanted to go see. And since i was meeting thomas and hilda at 730 at rc i thought i would have enough time to go to metro then go rc to meet them out. Turns out im really slow, so i didnt have enough time so i went to dt instead. HOLYYYY i went crazy. got stuff from sephora, aritzia , garage and off the wall :D and i even ate ice cream, i was like hells with it, im having a good day i deserve ice cream LOL. The best part of it was it was all paid from giftcards i got !! so haapppy,, sammy gor gor got me an aritzia 50bux gc raymond gorgor got me a 100bux $___$ sephora gc!! and garage and off the wall i had them before so nth special. but that day was so sunny and stuff i felt so happy especially since i was at dt. I actually like shopping alone it felt kinda nice :). gosh im such a loner orz. then arnd 8 we met at rc then thomas drove me and hilda to spaghetti factory across from the theatres at no.6 and there was a movie and dinner meal so it was ok. but fuuuuuck hst now our meals are so fucking expensive. FUCK. anyways, we wanted to watch despicable me and then we realize the show starts at 1o, so at 958 we quickly payed the bill and went to the theaters and fols, there was a uber long line up!! Then when we finally got our tickets and went into theatre 12 the show LITERALLY just started. tHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY im in love with this movie! i love everything about it. EVERYTHING. i actually wanna watch the movie again. (DEAR LGJ IF YER READING THIS AND THIS MOVIE IS STILL ON AT THE THEATRES WHEN YER BACK CAN WE PLS GO WATCH IT THANKS ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥) Then afterwards it was just home time.
Today or erm on saturday,,, cause its 152am now, went to visit yeh yeh, im soooo glad hes so jing sun now, my dad was so worried when my grandpa went to the hospital for the few days. and side note, tytytyty best budddy ronald chan ! for remembering about and asking if my grandpa's ok today! hes fine now FANKS ! :0)
Then afterwards went to meed hilda at metro to lend her my comp, then i we went to buy a pres for vvn's bday, we got her this bigger key pendant from juicy but the packaging is sooo pretty. Its in a heart shaped box and around the pendent there are roses (obviously fake lah,). It totally reminded me of the box of roses lgj gave me cause its the exact same shade of pink !!! Then i got it lahhh it was $1oo.80 *O* must save upppp now and then theres vf's pres i have to get. Then splashdwn is like 22bux then dinner after that is like 25bux+ at cow jai hot pot. bye money :(
worst of all !!!! DAISO CUT MY THURSDAY SHIFT AKA MY HAPPY SHIFT WITH VVN .FUCKMYLIFE. no money and i dont get to work with vvn :'(. well wrk tmrw gtg snooooze.

ps: did i mention i absolutely LOVE despicable me and agnes and the minions and the unicorn oh i just adore everything in the move, kbai <3
i dont hear your heartbeats no more, they drifted too far,

day:26

homg, my nose are plugged buti keep sneezing,
gaaau mang.
pls let me get a good mark for this crappy finished assignment 3,
i stayed up till 331am doing it
pleassssssssseeeeeeeeeee let me get a good mark
*fingerscrossed
homg long day in 5 hours
school then work
pls let me get a good mark for my lab my assignment 3 and my buec assignment 7
i should really be more productive in later days -o-

分手說愛你

I REALLLY REALLY WANNA WATCH THIS.
NOW.

day:31

here it goes.
i dont know whats wrong, or whats wrong with me.
it seems as though you're very distant from me now.
not just physically distant,
i really don't know how to explain it, but it feels as though we're, strangers now.
i spent the whole night last night thinking about it.
why is it so awkward whenever we talk on the phone now,
why are there weird silences, why isn't there conversations in those calls anymore.
i dont like this. everytime i think about those awkward conversations ill end up not sleeping, just twisting and turning till morning comes and ill just pass out,
im sure its just cause we're so far apart and im not used to not being able to see you everyday.
its really bothering me. cus i really miss you and want nothing more than just being able to hug you right now.
if you ever do read this, just read it and ignore it. thanks and
i really really really love you even if i never say it over the phone. sorry.
everythings gna be alright, right?

,

yer xg post.i read it a million times,
i waited for that inbox reply,refreshed my touch/computer/phone's fb a zillion times.
didnt wna spam
couldnt help it, end up inboxing.again.
wish i was a more caring person so you wouldnt be sad.
im really sorry for being such a terrible gf,
ill stop spamming you now,
goodnight.

day: san shi san

JULY 7th:
Whaaat a hebbbbbi dayyyy
:]

day:35

faccckkkk dim suen
; ^ ;

day 6 x 6 = 36 !

" For the first time,
I've found someone I hate leaving.
I've found someone that I can't get enough of.
I've found someone that accepts me for who I am and doesn't tell me that I need to change.
I've found someone I can fall madly in love with. "

♥

day:38 (july3)

long hiking reflective thoughts are the best.
ty justina.
althought you're 2 years younger than me but your thoughts are much wiser than mine.
failed.
My scars.
yes they are ugly, i wished i never did it,
i dont think anyone can really accept them,
cause not even i do.
Thankyou for being so honest to me
"yer arms are gross."
most people just usually ignore them
if they dont they'll ask me how i got them
& i'll say yes. i used to be a cutter.
no. im not proud, just facing the truth.
no more little excuses
"yea they're from work"
or
"oh this cat scratched me"
most people will just go oh haha, really? *walks off
you. my dear, asked.
"why?"
At first i didnt really know did answer, i said i did it cause i felt like it.
no. thts not it.
the truth is, i always thought if im able to hurt myself,
then no one could hurt me.
pain would be nth to me.
"thats just stupid, most of the times you were actually "hurt" arent physical injuries, & the "pain" yer afraid of ,arent from wounds. Theyre from disappoints, betrayals and regrets."
wow. thankyou.

day;39

HAPPY4MONTHS

iloveyou,

oh so so so much.

day:41 HOMG

post pic, write more later, ohgawd i dont thk i know where to start heehee

oh gawd,
i miss you so much already
i cant sleep
O_____O

day:forty-two

ok so this post is a day late..agn cause i just realized the time just passed 12. So im officially done my midterms and i get to rest for a while now, maybe a week? i really have to do well now, i got 26/40 for my buec midterm, which is 4marks below average. What am i gonna do? And my cmpt...sigh lets not mention it..yet.
This morning i woke up and saw an inbox from lgj i was soooo happy cause i thought he was in Taiwan or going to Taiwan already. Turns out there's wi-fi at the airport and lgj inbox-ed me. Then i went to go check lgj's blogspot and he finally wrote a new blog :)). I just wanna say, im more depended on you then you are on me in oh so many ways. Idk why but im kinda sad that ljg is going to taiwan for 5days (im so self fish :/) it seems like im too used to refreshing my facebook page every 5secs to see whether he replied haha. See? I really cant live without you, no, no even for 5 days. Guess i'll hug bab everywhere i go to survive these 5days.
my head really hurts from lack of sleep these few days, and going to lifelab tmrw, wish me luck.

day:forty5

hahahahah cuuuute i must show beh!
i wanna be nerdy too 8-)

sigh i keep skipping days and not writing in here. im such a lazy ass.
Yesterday i was a zombie for most of the cause i had to stay up and finish my assignment 2. Then at around 6 we (me dad mom) went to yuki's house for dinner. Tiffany was there too :D shes sooo cute i spent most of the dinner playing with her. Shes growing up so quickly shes going to playgroups and daycares. I taught her how to count to 5 and how to say pig LOL. then we went to the nightmarket and it was kinda boring other than gorgor got me a itouch case :)

So then i was reading this long lost notebook yesterday. I thk it was from grade10 ? 11? & hoooollly. i was such a sad child. I mean its not even funny. All my writings were so...so..dark?
like my cuttings my cryings and just the things i do. Most of the pages were crinkly and smudge so i thk i was crying while writing most of them. After the "david" incident lol i love how its an incident. I was so terrible and dark and ugly for so long. I skipped so many classes, started hanging out with the "wrong" crowd. I was so pathetic i even started smoking for a week in attempt to get "their crowd". i never really talked about it with anyone, cause its so shameful. Whats wrong with me? Now that i thk back about it, i thk im really dumb and stupid for doing all those things for someone thats that worth it at all. I say that now cause ive moved on. the past memories dont haunt me anymore. But at that moment. It was hell. Everyday i would go to school and think of ways to get his attention, everynight i would read our old texts and old msn convos and cry myself to sleep. ERM. saaai mm saai a? Hes not worth it at all, as im writing this i dont know what i saw in him in the first place. not at all. I thk im just stubborn, thats why i wouldnt let go before. i wasted 3+ years for him. really? him? woow. i dont recall any happy memories with him, just many days of arguing and ignoring. aii. i was such a retard. I feel so much better after writing this out, idk why. Goodbye old diaries, goodbye texts goodbye msn conversations, in the trash can you go. Im gna replace them with good memories :)

my day for tdy hmmm
not much happened me and my sister woke up at 11 to clean up the room and vacuum the house and stuff cause uncle is staying for 2days. Then we went to eat at mcds cause not enough time to eat before uncle comes. Then me and +jeh just chilled a bit till he came. Then im suppose to study but i fell asleep ORZ.then we went to eat at juuuueee lol AGN. at 6.
when i got home lgj was online so i got to msn him (((: but my days are kinda boring so not much to talk about. He got a sore throat :( cause dom is kinda sick and spread jor bey kui. Hopefully he gets better before going on his trip D: . talking about being sick, my fucking allergies are back. My eyes are so watery and red and swollen and i kept sneezing and shit. I look like death. should be better soon *crossfinger. i really really really cant wait till next tuesday (:
better days to come hang in there sharon cm sham ! :)

sigghhhh i cant wait till the fun part of summer starts

day:47

heeheee first real flowers from a boy <3

ok, so today was a really long day. ok so long day is an understatement. it was a hella long day. It was so long it felt like it was 2days. gau mang.
the best part about my day was probably lgj calling me :). We didnt really talk thaaat long, but yea it was nice and it made me happy to just hear his voice. Afterwards i just kinda got rdy and went to school for my fucking buec midterm which i think i failed. (pls let me do well,,please.) Then i bused to aberdeen to wait for michelle to get off work. I went to the foodcourt and saw vvn eating with pauline and jeffrey so i went to save vvn lol. no seriously. pauline and jeffrey is so lovey dovey, its hard to stand. Anyways so i talked with vvn and we decided and confirmed who's going to dinner and stuff and me and hilda has to buy brian a present! can't forget!! Then mii got off work and her daddy came to pick us up. Then it was just working at her place. But ACTUALLY, travis bb suddenly got really really clingy to me so spent like 6-8pm taking care of him, watching cartoons and dolphin videos. Then mii's mama told me to eat dinner with them so i did. So basically i didnt really start wrking till 10 ;^;. But travis b so cute! He kept pushing my back and going "ngor bong jeh jeh oi mor" hahahaha :)
Gosh i HAVE to HAVEEEEE to really do well for cmpt cause i have a bad feeling bout my buec (knock on wood). so tired, being a mommy is not easy at all, i just kinda took care of travis b for a while and im pretty dead now.
more tags and .css to go fml.
47 more days. how am i gna last that long. :(

day: fifty

haha, aww this is really cute

today was such a super duper uber tiring day.
Mainly cause i slept from 430am to 83oam then went to work at 1oopm today. This morning i talked to lgj for about an hour. It was much better than the last convo we had. (heehee chicken wrap ;) ) Just talking/thinking about sleeping on his bed makes me so happy, i really cant wait till i can actually sleep on lgj's bed agn and geeep juu him :$$. Work was pretty hectic cause there were sooo many customers today. But its actually a good thing cause that way i wont thk about being sleepy. After work my +jeh picked me up and we went home for dinner. Dad was done cooking so we got to eat instantly. My dad offer to wash the dishes today so that me n +jeh could go out. After we changed, me and feyfey +jeh went biking (her) & rollerblading (me). We went alll the way to the oval and back and went around the dover park 4 times. We were only gna go around it twice but then we saw mommy so we went around the park twice with her. It was fun just chilling with my +jeh , cause i havent done so for a while. Me and +jeh were being so silly cause we kept singing random songs when we biked/skated and we raced each other :D:D. When i got home i saw lgj's inbox, so i called him. Turns out hes changing so i called him a bit later. Then he had to go yum cha w/ his daddy so he said he'll call me back. So i went to shower. After i showered +jeh told me my phone rang, so i went dwnstairs to call lgj back. We talked for a while, 30mins? jaau hang up cause it was really noisy at his place and i had to go study.

So ytd, was a pretty bad night. thats basically why i didnt really sleep. After i hung up on lgj i felt really bad and i wanted to call him back but i got too scared. So i inbox-ed him. i felt kinda stupid for inbox-ing him when i know he doesn't really get the internet nowadays. i inbox-ed him anyways, then i just kinda played with my itouch beside my parents bed under my covers until he replied. For the first hour i kept thking "great sharon, lei wan chut foooor lah, hes actually mad at you now" after that i started crying. im really scared he doesnt wanna talk to me anymore and got fed up with my stupid attitude. Great. Im the person who "jo chor yeh" and im the one who's crying? Wow, i am a fucking retard. In the second hour i kept thking 4lah hes really not talking to me anymore what am i going to do. I honestly dont thk i can survive not seeing him for 2months let alone not being about to talk to him. around 2 hours later, at 2-ish am lgj replied. When i saw that i got a fb inbox on my touch i wast so happy, but his reply was kinda short and it ended with an lol. Then i thought , great. hes talking in a sarcastic-ronald-lol tone. Like the usual me who's a fucking stubborn ass who loves to "daaau hei" i gave him a one word reply. & the following replies i did were really sarcastic and shit. Cause im like that. i think i got this trait from my dearest daddy. Whenever i argue, even when i know im wrong, i'll argue and argue until i win. But everytime i do that, i'll regret it right afterwrds, cause i always end up saying things that are mean or sound really cocky. I mean when i daau hei with my family they dont really have a choice but to make up with me afterwards cause they're my family. (In my opinion, they are probably being punished for doing smth bad in their past lives thats why they are stuck to have me in their family). But on the other hand when i daau hei with lgj, he gets to choose. he doesnt have to put up with all these shit and attitude i give him. He can just go "fuck this, im done with this shit". But yet he doesnt. & he always end up blaming himself and tum-ing me, when im always the one who screwed up. So i swear, im going to be a better lpj. Im gna be more considerate. And i wont use my manly voice when i talk to lgj. I'll do my best to tum him whenever hes not happy. I'll tell my lgj everything that happens to me, whether its happy or sad. Cause, to be really corny, honesty is the key to a healthy r/s rigggghtttt??. (im so lame ==")
Lastly, i promise myself to not let the past r/s and unhappiness ruin this one. Cause this one is different from the previous one. its much much much better.

iloveyou lgj forever.....+1 :)

day; fiftyone

i wish i would stop letting anger go over my head.
i always end up doing things i regret, saying things i regret saying
sigh, if yer not mad at me, then i guess you would read my blog.
so here it goes,
im sorry for hanging up on you like that,
im sorry i said yea i dont wanna talk to you
truth is i really really wanna talk to you
ever since you left everyday seems longer
im not used to this at all.
not being able to text you throughout the day
not being able to go find you everyday after school on tuesdays and thursdays.
i really really miss you
im sorry i never say these to you
im retarded and fucked up like that
im really scared that if i always call you i'll become too clingy & you'll get annoyed with me
im sorry im so depended on you
im gna learn to be tougher, i promise.
whenever i feel like yer mad at me & dont wanna talk to me,,it'll remind me of that dream i keep having nowadays,
in the dream you suddenly come to realizing im really not worth all your time and effort
whenever i thk of this dream my heart literally aches and ill get teary eyed.
my mom caught me having this dream once,
shes like whats wrong
i wanted to tell her about it, but she wouldnt understand.
i dont thk anyone does.
i dont understand it myself.
im rly messed up.
but no. it hasnt been like that for the past months,
ive never felt so,
so special, so loved
i dont know how to word it but
its like i dont have to put an effort to be tough
like its ok for me to act retarded and stuff
i dont thk i can survive if i lose you
im sorry for putting so much burden on you
its ok if you dont wanna talk to me every single day
i understand
i dont wanna be hogging you all the time
im sorry i dont "tum" you whenever you are unhappy
im really scared the more i say the more i fuck things up
thank you for putting up with me so many times.
i love you

day: fiftytwo

dont feel like writing tdy
gooodbye

day: 53

something cheerful
i laaave the aliens :)

This is so strange. This is only my 9th post but it feels as though a whole month has passed. So idk what i'm doing. My buec midterm is next thursday and lab5 is due next friday, and the monday on the week after i have my cmpt mt then 2days after i have my assignment 2 due. FUCK. for the mts i can study but the assignments i can really do it at all. idk how to do even the simplest lab5. i spent 2 fucking hours on it and i got nth . sighhh. why do i slack so much. I know i shouldnt slack but yet i still do. :( anyways my day. so i woke up around 1o, ate, watched the game (ENGLAND GET YER ACT TGT! i swore not to eat po kok chicken rice for you 4years ago!!!) then i went in to the kitchen read chapter7 but i dont get shit, i spent like 3hours trying to do assignment5 but meh doh mm get. Around 4 Dominic called and said i dont have to go drop off the thing tonight cause hes around my house atm so he can pick it up and he needed to borrow the bathroom. Then a bit later he came and he was with his gf, heehee ho duk yee :P. Homg. but i looked like a zombie when he came. My complete at-home look at its worst Orz. Way to give a first impression. ORZ. His gf is so hak hei, i asked if she wanted to wait inside instead of standing by the door she kept saying no. So it got a little awkward, so i just went back in the kitchen and look at my notes. Then Dominic came back down and then he wanted to say smth, but then went nvm, haha i wonder what he wanted to say. He said they were going to chill at the dike heehee :). After they left i plugged my lappy in and did 20mins cardio and i was already insanely tired. ORZ. Then around7 me and gor gor and this uncle went to dinner at "jue" its sooo goood. When dinner was over gorgor drove me home and when we go to the stop sign at dover park i saw baat jai. I thk. For a sec i thought i was imagining things :S chi jor? Then i texted Dominic and asked him if he was at dover and he said he was. Ok thats all i needed to know to make sure im not retarded. LOL. boring day. work tmr 9 to 6 and work on sunday 9 to 2 and work on monday FML but its father's day dinner tmrw so i guess it'll be better. idk how im gna do everything in time esp lab5 and assignment2. wish me luck! after the 28th my bad luck is gna go bye bye i cant wait at all. WONDER GIRLS with BEH on the 29th and EBISU on july9th :DDDD. i could care less bout my birthday this year cause im turning 2o, but i cant wait to finaaaallllyyyy have a mini gatheringgg :3 especially when shots are involved. i really need a drank :) oh and polly jeh jeh and simon gor gor is on their way driving from calgary now, they'll be here around 6am @ _____ @. ohohohohohohoh, i saw this ad in this mag the other day for a diet pill and you can buy it from shoppers' i wonder if it wrks maybe i should give it a try !!
PLS LET THIS HECTIC MONTH BE OVER ASAP PLSSSSSSSS. thanks

day;54

list for the day;

1. nope, but i wish i've been away
2. idk, but i doubt it
3. i got a coast capital bill ==;
4. yuuuuppp; love the way you lie
5. yupppp x2 at 22nd and at production way :)
6. hahah yuuup
7. YES YES YES,
8. yes :):):) love ittt
9. nope
1o. yes :)<3

okkk so im writing this a day later cause yesterday was kinda busy Orz.
Like all thursdays my dad had to work in the morning so i have to go to the bus stop myself, and like all thursdays i have and assignment due at 12:3o pm for buec. Due to my laziness i didnt leave my house till very late so i end up having to rush everywhere. But to make my rushing experience better ri was talking to b on the bus, but it was kinda hard to hear what he was saying cause the bus was so noisy...sorrrry :(:(. When i got to school to hand in my assignment it was 12:21 pm ! Talk about perfect timing :D.
Then it was buec class and it was so boring and the explaining was so bad i had no idea wth the prof was talking about. Then during my break i went to buy sourkeys from the convinient store near triple o's. I swear im adddited :(. Then after class me and hilda bused to starbucks to study but LOL hilda said shes never bringing me again cause i've been "hut jai" for the passed week,therefore DANiel wasnt there ytd lol. I studied Unit one , two frm cmpt and i got a iced shaken greentea lemonade, havent had one for a while,,,, so goooood :9. Then i had to go meet up my fam at metro, so i skytrained there. While skytraining there, there was this really creepy old dude that kept smiling and staring at me, chi sin, and we got off at the same stop. :S
chi sin.Then me mom dad n sis just walked around metro, and when i got to sirens i called b agn cause the nba game was over which means hes duk han now :) and then it was 9 so everything was closing and then we had to leave to go to dinner. Walk walk ha i realized my cmpt textbook and my sfu folder was GONE holy i quickly ran to sirens and started banging on their door to ask them to let me in, but it was there :(:( and then my sis caught up with me and i started crying and im like oh shit my 3 hours of hardwork mo lah, and shes like where are you going now and i said i might have lefted it atgarage so i ran there frm sirens, an i started banging their gate, and when someone finallycame out im like im soo sorry but i thk i left my binder here. And she smiled n ran inside and came out w/ my stuff. HOOOOOOLYYY i was so happy, i screamed THANKYOU THANK YOU SO MUCH!! my sistercaught up wth me and shes like lei siu sum d lah! Then i was panting like crazy so we had to sit down =='' Then we went to dinner at that beef noodle place :)) Then i left with my sister and we went to save on's to buy yogurt. When we got home dad slept so i went dwnsairs to make him a card and talked on the phone till 2 <3>

dAy; fifftty5

reserve (haha i wrote this and posted it before 12 cause i know im gna write about my day after 12am, so so sing mok yo!)
(does that mean i have super powers now? cus i found my other half.)

-1:ooam-
Why am i blogging so late today? welll i was gna blog arnd 12 but then steven called me and he needed help on assignment4 so i spent an hour teaching him. i almost had the urge to choke him to death at a point -o-. Anyways, lol i seem to use the word anyways alot, today was pretty good mainly cause b and i talked on the phone for around an hour and i didnt sleep in and miss his inbox!
OHOH and mommy gave him a number to dial so he can call me too :D:D, weee i love my mommy. After talking on the phone i hea-ed on my bed for another 10mins then i got up, brush teeth etc., went downstairs, cleaned up the kitchen and made dumplings and yuuu meennn <3 game ="o=" style="font-weight: bold;">80thousand ppl were killed in a year due to robbery or just randomly beat to death (i asked my dad why do they have to kill the person after they robbed them O_____O, apparently, stealing is a death crime in south africa, so if you steal and you dont kill that person and you got caught, yer gna die, so might as well kill the person right? mm hai kui 4, jaau hai lei 4), 1/8th of the women/girls there had been raped or sexually harassed before (uhm, wtf.). Then im like why are they still hosting the games there. Its cause of political reasons. Most of the previous games were hosted in "white" people countries cept for the year 2oo2 where it was co-hosted in south korea and japan. Soooo if they dont host a game in the african continent the black ppl would thk that fifa is racist :S. This is so complicated. Talking about korea, in north korea where its under dictatorship, apparently the soccer players there are all soldiers and they only make like US$2 a day or some shit. Wtf. After hearing this frm my dad i feel that the world is more fucked up than i thought. sigh.
ANYWAYS (agn) then i went to my room "study" but i just end up doing Q#3 and then watched the mysterious of love. I then spent and hour and like 40mins trying to do lab5 but i really dont know how, i thk i have to faan vvn agn. why am i stupid AND lazy =='. I thk its actually better when im at the sfu library cause yesterday i actually spent the whole day doing my buec :) <-proud face. haha, then family came back so we ate dinner like usual. Then around 1oish? I went dwnstairs plugged my lappy to the tv and started doing the hiphop abs routine thing, dude this thing is so hardcore, 3omins into it and im like sweating like crazy no kidding. Then mom saw me and started to do it too, haha we were so funny my mom kept going "push push push lift lift lift" and kept going "yiu gaam fey yiuuu gaam fey" hahahahahahah it was sooooo funn :D
Then my dad came and like did 2 moves and went this isnt fun im gna watch tv hahahahhaha
soooo fffffuuuunny. Then my mom was like ngor ding mm suen lah, tmrw lets start with an easier one, me: "thats the intro O_____O" ahhahahahah my moms expression was a WTF and a FML look lol. Hopefully i can keep up with it cause this is kinda fun and we get to listen to usher in the bg hahah :) lets see if i can d/l the pussycat dolls workout routine too, but i heard its pretty useless..hahah keep up doh day day do sin suen lah sharon sham! The instant i was done and covered in sweat and walked back into my room "you belong with me" came onn....WEEEeeee that means lgj is calling me :) i picked up but then jaau saau jor sin :(
so i called him back :):) chat jor for a while his frnd came and i had to go shower so we hung up. Horhorhor we talked 2x today <3 luccckkky meeeeeeee :):)

Ohohohohoh, i heard eminem's Not Afraid on muchtv tdy its really good, i thk his whole album, Recovery, is gna be pretty good, ronald said it got leaked last week i must find it and d/l it !!

day:56

idk why, but i really like this quote.

just in time before 12am.


-12:46am-

done showering, thought i'll save post before i go or else this post would be on June.16th instead of the 15th, and that would kinda ruin my "post a day, pic a day". I was gna skip today cause i really tired, i mean not sleepy tired just mentally tired, i just wanna go online and browse through pics and stuff. This morning im suppose to call but for some reason i fell back aslp and then i was late for class....agn. No wonder im not getting anything in buec. So class was boring and thn after class hilda had to tut so i went to the library to wait for her to start our buec assignment. Today was grad day, kinda sucks for these grads cus the weather was pretty lousy and it didnt get better till around 7pm. so while trying to get across from the office place to the library we (well it was me) bumped into brandon leeee OOO:, hes much smaller like shorter and skinnier than imagined :/ but nonetheless he was cuuute :x. bahaha. Then i weent to library from 2:30 to 730 and hilda cam to join me around 330, and she got me honey milk green tea :3
We did most of the assignment alright then we got stuck on Q3. The notes didnt help. The textbook dont even cover it. fack. just that one stupid Q. I could of handed in my hwk already so i dont have to rush to class on thursday @:< Then the usuals i bussed home blah blah blah,
Idk for some reason im really moody for most of the day, probably causei was in the library for so long n i could do that ONE q and siighhhhh tdy i was in such a rush to go out i forgot my ring, i spent the whole day suddenly going oh shit where did my ring go??!! and then i go ohhh its at home. Im so paranoid. i keot thinking i lost it, i had a million heartattacks cause of that ==' why am i so retarded. thats it for tdy, mooody day, mb i'll write more tmrw. nights.

ps; my mommy is so jang,
when i got home tdy i was so insanely tired already. she microwaved my dinner and in my "rice" bowl she gave me extra "veggie-squid" ho ho mei a ! :9 Then i went downstairs after 2hours of tv and browsing sites she reheated the soup for me ! THEN we i went dwnstairs agn to wash my bowl, she washed the pot for my soup already and she washed the bowl i was eating with while i was on the phone, then she asked me if i wanted strawberries i said sure she went to get it for me and it was ready cut into smaller pieces <3 i love you mommy :3

day : fifty-seven

Today i woke up at 8:o7am :) guess whyyyy :) :)
I called him afterward and i thk we talked for an hour or so?
Then i got up hoping ill do some school work. But i didnt, daddy made me some dumplings :D so i went to heat it up and watched calling love while eating it. After 12:2o-ish my daddy came back from grandpas to drive me to work. Today work was soooooo boring, mainly cause bedford was wrking and no one to blow water me. I saw this plastic clingy wrap thing for the body, i might get it to work out cus apparently it'll "gook ju" d fat so it'll sweat more :D. i reaaaallly have to stop eating, gosh, i look in the mirror and all i see is F-A-T. fml. 0rz. When i got off work it was pouring ice :S it was so scary, i ttried calling b agn but mm tong so i hung up plus my ride was here so couldnt really talk anyways. The usuals, got home eat dinner and wash dishes. Around 9:41pm i got an inbox from b so i called him :D yaaay. Then talk jor siu siu.
I just realized i really dont have much stuff to write each day, my days are actually pretty boring, sigh must thk of more stuff to write, actually must study more and eat less and do hwk.
i wish its mid august now so i dont have school anymore and i can cuddle; watch movies under the blanket (no i do not care that it might be really hot at that time) ♥ ♥
my head hurts agn, time to shower and sleep, time for schhhiooooolll & study tmrw :(

dAy; fiftyeight,

what a long day today was, long but happy day (:
so like all sunday mornings i had to wake up to go to work. This sunday morning was a lil different, tdy, i got a wake up text :D
Around 7:5o am i heard my phone vibrate a couple times which usually means i got a text from fb :D:D and it was from b. Ytd his family went to shen zhen thats why i couldnt reach him. We inbox-ed and wall-ed (Mii read our wall-to-wall and thinks me and b are lame :( and that she cant imagine me saying those stuff ) for a while then i had to get up to get ready for work. After getting ready i quickly drove to work, yet i was still late for 1mins25sec :( Then jennifer called in "Sick" cus she had to study. Today's work time went by pretty fast cus 1.)i was only working 9-2 and 2.)there were so much to stock, i didnt even text...much :P
(but an unexpected visitor came and jorr juu saai me work >=/)
i never felt so hard wrking, my section was so neat and filled :D horhorhor. Then around 1:35pm Mandy was like are you hungry? You work so early today and yer probably not gonna have food till 2pm, did you eat this morning? (haha of corz i didnt, i was late today 0rz) Sha: oh no, i didnt eat yet, my house didnt have anything (lol, lies). Mandy: heres a candy, go to backroom sin ho eat a, ;]
awww shes so nice :P At around 2 i got off work and walked to supergarage to find mii to eat with me cause she breaks at 2 :) I havent seen her for so loooooong we ate and chatted for a while and we bumped into feifei and gorgor haha, (how come i never see them come when i work ?>=( ) Then i went to get vvn a iced lemon tea and then i went to pick her up. She came over and we chill ha go ha on fb gum and then i did my assignment 1 and lab 5 horhorhroorhorhorh pro.
Its not reallly THAT hard, just that theres alot of stuff to remember, thank god vvn was there to tell me bout the tags and stuff. Shes so smart, if it wasnt for her i'll probably still be lost yo :D
Then me and her decided to go to the nightmarket for dinnnner WEEEEeeeee i love <3
we ate,
1. spicy squid
2. cheese smokies
3. HURRICANE POTATOES <333
4. yuu yook siu maai
5. and uber spicy fishballs
6.oh wait theres dragon bread candy too :):)
& i got a mr.banana pencil case !!!!! yaaay
After i dropped vvn off i quickly put on my handsfree and called b. Apparently i got really good timing cause he was waiting for a frd to watch A-team. We just chatted bout stuff, but it was kinda noisy so didnt really talk that long. it was just really nice to hear his voice :$$ haha.
&& to make things more faaaabulous, todays weather was EXCELLENT how i wish i was tanning at the beach and studying. haha, a wish a day :)
OHOHOHHO I FOUND OUT TIFFANY IS GOING TO SCHOOL NEXT WEEk WHICH MEANS SHE'LL BE STAYING HERE FOR A WHILE.WEeeee im so taking her to the beach.
thats all, gna go shower, i smell like "chaaau yaauu yu" ;p

ohoh i forgot, when me and vvn were heading out, this lil girl from my neighborhood kept talking to me cause my windows were open in the car. Then after a while she screamed and told me her frisbee was stuck on top of this bush and she cant reach it. so...being the tall girl that i am :P:P
i got off the car and went to help her get it. After i got it for her she said "oh im not tall enough to reach, and 2nd there was a spider web there i didnt wanna touch it, you walked right into." ==''
faccccck, thats really gross ==' i love how she didnt even say thankyou. the flaw of my perfectly productive and heebbbi day.
sigh goodnight